Run for Fun

Remember when I said I was training for a few races?  I signed up months ago thinking, "I'll have plenty of time..."  Well, the time has come and now my first 10K PB (Post Baby) is a mere month away.  I have been training and Brody is becoming more and more agreeable in the jogging stroller. 

We have learned that we both enjoy the voice of Britney, the Black Eyed Peas, and Cascada.  We have also learned that a teething toy, small bottle of watered down apple juice, and my keys will keep B very occupied for at least an hour.  Also, I am lucky that my son inherited my nosiness so he can take up a good amount of the trip staring at bikers, cars, other runners, trees, and anything else we pass. 

I don't bring my babe on every run.  I have been dragging my tired self out of bed in the AM to run at least 2-3 times per week.  The boys get in some quality time before 6am and Mommy gets a run in.  This way, I can't have the excuse of tireness, I would rather have a glass of wine, or I don't have time at the end of the day.  I figure, I'm going to be tired regardless of what time I wake up so I might as well get up an hour earlier and burn some calories.  I am getting in a solid 4 miles and could probably continue if I had more time.  Within 2 weeks, I'd like to feel comfortable on a 5 miler and then by the time race day comes, 6 miles will push through on pure adrenaline and the fact that I am an insanely competitive person and will refuse to look weak.  I know, I know...I already purchsed my ticket to crazy town, let's not rub it in!

I have to admit, I've felt great and energized by these morning runs.  So, let the training continue.   

Welcome to Crazy Town - Party of One Please

During pregnancy, I constantly tried to prep myself for the changes that were going to accur in my life once my baby was born.  I was going to be a mother.  I was going to have a son.  Yes, I might get a little less sleep.  Yes, I would probably spend my Saturday evenings at the park and in bed early.  Yes, things would change but in a magical, beautiful way.  Now, with a perfect, seven month old son, life has changed and it has been great.  The problem is, no one ever prepared me for the things I would lose come motherhood.  One example...my mind. 

I used to be a very put together person.  I was EXTREMELY organized and "planny."  I was very good at my job, kept a spotless house, and would describe myself as specific but fun.  Well, let me just tell you, that put together person is GONE!  Here is an actual email I sent to my friend yesterday...

"I've LOST my mind.  I need a wine and a xanex 10 min ago.  I left my
umbrella in a restaraunt, lost my parking garage tag so it took me 45 min to
fill out paper work and get my car out.  Is this what motherhood does to
people?  If so, Brody is going to be an only child.  I'm mental."

After she so sweetly responds to find out if it was the nice, expensive umbrella and telling me I'm just not used to losing things and not to worry, I'm doing a great job, here is my response...

"I know...who am I??  Even a guy I work with literally said "who are you".
I'm usually a put together on top of it person.  One child has driven me
into phsyco land even further than before.

Yes it was the burberry!  I flipped my shit in the middle of an office,
called the restaraunt and they had it, thank goodness.  Just another day in
the life of a mental case."

Hopefully my work isn't monitoring all emails or they will see this and certainly find some reason to kick this crazy mom to the curb. 

Pretty in Porn

Wedding season is officially here and for me, it is jam packed.  We have 7 weddings to attend from now through December and most of these beautiful brides and sexy grooms are our absolute best friends so it is very exciting and special.  Although the actual wedding day is the most important event in the series, the preface to these declorations of love and commitment brings lots of penis, titty tassles, and ridiculous stories in the form of your typical bachelor and bachelorette parties.

This weekend I lived my double life of mommy and hard core porn store attendee.  I spent Saturday morning in the kitchen making organic home made baby food for my son (while nursing a slight hangover from one too many skinny girls with my dear friend Hud Friday night).  The afternoon took a turn for the scandelous when I went shopping for penis peraphanalia.  My absolute bff is my italian twin and she and I can bring out the  crazy in each other so I knew this trip was going to be fun.  We had planned to meet up for fun bachelorette shopping spree for our other bestie and wanted to make sure we got the full experience.  As we walked into the porn shop that was covered up on the windows and had signs stating "Must be 18 to enter" I thought to myself...Where the fuck am I?

We weren't in the shop for 5 seconds when Laur whispered "I'm not mature enough for this."  I couldn't agree more.  There were couples walking around together looking for the best video to set the mood and there we were, laughing at the anal beads and trying to sort through the over priced and over sized dildo's.  They had every type of toy, fantasy mask, and fetish piece you could image.  A few pieces of equipment looked like they was made for lazy people.  Do you really need a $55.00 harness to hold your girls booty in the air for doggy style?  Either use a tie or have your partner arch her back a little more...it's not rocket science.   

 "I mean seriously, it can't feel good if it's THAT big"  "Do you think the pictures of the guys on the box actually have dicks that big?" "Ew, look at this one" "Would you ever use this...?"  "Why, would YOU?"    These questions continued as we toured the tiny shop and then found ourselves in the back where there were booths to "preview" the videos.  I mean seriously, what type of person goes into those semen infested booths and previews the porn?  Just spend the $20 and call it a day.  There were a few bachelorette appropriate items but we weren't really focused on them.  We moved our way over to "guy on guy" section and before I knew what was happening, the bff was taking pictures on her phone of these poses and texting them to my husband and her fiance.  We were laughing hysterically.  Seriously, is this my life?  I am someone's mother. 

We would point to a serious "hanger" and gasp, wondering if that was real.  This went on and on.  The sign said "15 minute limit on browsing" but there was no big enforcer so we continued our shopping spree. 

After we bought a few items, I put the bag in my purse and then opened my big burberry umbrella to race to my mini van and head over to the mall for a lunch of salad and white wine.  Now...Does that last sentence really go with the entire post?  Like I said, I was leading a double life on Saturday and can I just tell you, I had a great time. 

Chels...my new bestie

As you either know or can tell...I'm a bit of a reality tv junkie.  My time spent catching up with my reality friends is much more limited these days because of a particularly cutie but that doesn't mean I don't still lovemesome reality celebs.  Of course, I'm a fan of some and not of others but for the most part, I ridiculously follow the majority of reality tv.  Although my husband thinks it's obnoxious and tries to explain to me how it's not reality (YES IT IS), I graciously ignore his thoughts and continue my love affair.

There is always room in my life for another celeb friend so when someone suggested I read "Are you there, Vodka?  It's me, Chelsea" I figured, why not?  I have never followed Chelsea Handler and really didn't know anything about her except the fact that she had a show on E!  I was told that it was a fun, easy read that would make you laugh out loud.  After finishing the book in two days, let me just tell you, I fucking love that girl.  Her dry, sarcastic, judgey and ridiculous attitude poses for a perfect companion for this lady. 

First of all, I love when a woman doesn't have a problem admitting what an absolute crazy she is.  I am one of those women.  I'm neurotic, psychotic, emotional, and by definition, nuts.  But...in a fabulous way of course.  I believe my girl Chelsea to be the same.  She writes with wit and honesty as each chapter is a different story from her life.  Who wants to read about perfection, fantasy, and fairytales?  Trust me, reading too many of those romantic fantisies will only lead to arguments with the hubs when he doesn't surprise you with a scavenger hunt date that ends up on a beach with a picnic (I've never had an argument like this...it's just an example...).  She tells it how it is without a tablespoon of sugar and is a shit show in the process.  My life is pretty much a shit show right now so the fact that this bitch is putting her craziness in print made me want to kiss her on the lips (just an expression friends). 

Give it a read girls.  Even though I didn't like the fact that she hates coming home to a glass of wine and prefers vodka (not a vodka hater, just a wine lover), she is extremely entertaining and I'm already craving my next Handler purchase.

Who Am I?

Seriously...I am pathetic.  I used to pride myself on how physically fit I was.  I wasn't the skinniest one on the team but always made sure that I worked so hard that no one could out run me (I mean of course this exlcudes professional athletes, track stars, etc.).  Through my college days, I spent my time running, in the gym, or flirting with boys and drinking beer.  The running and gym time really did take up a great deal of my time and I prided myself on decipline and strength.  As I've mentioned, those days are long gone and now I have signed up to run a 10K and a half marathon in the next six months.  Here is the kicker...I am soooo ridiculously out of shape.  Seriously, I don't even recognize myself.

Yes, the scale says I've lost my pregnancy weight but it isn't factoring in the fact that I haven't pushed my body to run more than 4 miles or do circuit and weight training in over a year.  Over the past two weeks I have forced myself to start training.  I have been running (4 miles max) and am slowing getting into conditioning and strength training again.  Well...today proved to me how I probably couldn't chase down a 400lb cop out of a donut shop.  One word...Pathetic.

Brody and I decided to have a nice little home work out this morning.  Half of our basement is a gym so there was no excuse to be lazy on this rainy Friday.  We traveled down to the basement with toys, an ipod, and a super-set workout I found in Women's Health.  So...let me lay out the scene.  Brody is sitting in the corner of the room with his toys, bobbing his head to the music, and not at all interested in me.  I am warming up (pretty much having a dance party to Black Eyed Peas) and gulping water.  When the warm up/dance party song ends, I start.  It is an 8 exercise program and you perform each motion for 60 seconds, getting in as many reps as possible.  Great.  Well...chubbymcoutofshape starts and about dies.  I am sweating bullets within 5 minutes as my legs and arms BURN.  As I'm doing my jumping squats, Brody decides to get interested.  He is staring at me and starts to laugh.  It's not a chuckle, not a small giggle...he is hysterically laughing.  I try to tell myself that he thinks the jumping motion is funny but let's get real, he realizes his mom looks ridiculous and is absolutely dying. 

So, I begin to talk to my adorable son..."What's so funny?  You think it's funny that Mommy is doing this.  Well look at this Brody (as I pull my t-shirt up to show him the giggly stomach), you made Mommy look like this so Mommy has to work out like a crazy woman if she wants to wear a bikini this summer."  The grin on his face widens and his toys are now thrown to the side and he is just sitting, looking at this lunatic of a mother.  "I'm glad you're laughing" pant pant..."Now you realize how hard this is.  See, this is how much I love you that I want to be healthy and in shape for you.  Oh that's funny??"  This chit chat continues as I struggle to breathe and gulp water.  After 40 minutes of explaing to my son why I am doing this as I do push-ups, planks, lunges, etc. I am donzo.  "Fine Brody, if you don't want to hang out here any more, we'll go upstairs." 

Seriously, who am I?  I used to run circles around girls and had conversations with adults.  Now, I am barely breathing in my basement, doing a magazine workout, and having a serious conversation with my 6 month old.  Times they have a changed!

Brody's Big Day

As I've briefly shared, I have a big, Irish, (crazy) Catholic, family.  For me, family is so important and without the support and love of my family, I don't know how I would be able to function as a working mom right now.  I grew up Catholic, went to 12 years of Catholic school, and always thought faith was important.  Now, I am not saying that Catholicism is the "right"religion by any means...it is just all that I know.  My husband is not Catholic but when I was pregnant, we decided that we wanted our son to grow up with religion and wanted to baptise him Catholic.


Yes, many people baptise their babies after one or two precious months on earth but it wasn't that easy for us.  First of all, we had to take a class and getting both of our schedules, a grandmother or aunt over to babysit, and time away from work coordinated was not an easy feat.  Also, my grandparents hybernate in Florida for 3 months and would absolutley freak out if they were not present for their great grand sons baptism.  So, after planning, scheduling, and making sure it worked for all family members (both sides) we settled on a date when Brody would be approximatley 6 and a half months old. 


I actually thought this was better because he could wear an adorable three piece suit, not one of those girly gowns.  We were also planning a party afterwards to celebrate the precious prince and now he's a lot more fun than he was at one or two months.  So, our big day finally came this weekend.  For some reason, I was nervous.  My husband was up early getting drinks in coolers and iced down for the "afterparty" and as I got Brody into his suit, I couldn't help but tear up.  I felt a nervous pain in my stomach like it was my wedding day or something.  Yes, I am a very emotional woman but I never thought I would be this sentimental about his baptism.  As I kissed all over his chubby face, I truly realized how different my life is now that I've become a mother and how every juncture in his life is so emotional and important to me.

Check out that suit...


We chose my sister/best friend Katie as the godmother and my husbands best friend Patrick as the godfather.  Not only do I know that these two people love my son completley, but we trust and love them so much that we wanted them to be a very special parts of the Brodsters life.

With the godparents about to get dunked


The ceremony was wonderful and we had our closest family and friends there so it was perfect.  The "afterparty" was full of salads, gourmet sandwhiches, delicous cake, and of course, wine.  I know Brody won't remember it but it was a very special day for me and my husband and I am so proud of the trouper my son was all day long.  He really is an angel.

Brody with his parents and grand parents

No Bravo in the Bedroom?

For my job, I sometimes go to networking functions to meet new people, hopefully find leads for new business, and continue to keep my company on the forefront of business in the nations capital.  A few days ago, I was at a networking event making my way through crowds of people munching on mini crab cakes and sipping white wine.  Of course, there are the regulars, the vendors, the associates, and the few people that you actually want to have a conversation with in the hopes that it might lead to an exchange of business cards and a prospective new client. 

As I made my way through the beautiful room overlooking the mall, I was introduced to a man by one of my business partners.  At first it's small talk, name, what do you do, oh you like to run, blah blah.  He asked me what company I worked for and when I told him I worked for a coffee company, he responded with a quick "I don't drink coffee."  I smiled and gulped a sip of wine...what do you say to that?  Well, while I stood there for a second, trying to figure out what topic to bring up next, he continued.  "But, I do make coffee for my wife every morning and bring it up to her in bed."  As I put on my salesy smile, I comment on how nice that is.  He proceeds, "Yes, I make it every morning, bring it upstairs, then I prop pillows up behind her, give her her glasses, and she has her morning coffee in bed while I leave for work."  First of all, I'm thinking...is this man for real?  Yes, this is very nice but every SINGLE morning he does this? And this wife is really living the life.  She sips coffee while relaxing on a comfy mattress and he goes off to commute an hour to work.  Anyway, I comment on how nice that is.  Then I say, "So she has her time in the morning to relax, drink her coffee, maybe watch the news..."  I didn't know this was something wrong to say.  He stared at me like I had just said "So she has her time in the morning to relax and then bang your best friend."  Instead he says "Oh no, we do not have a tv in our bedroom.  We've been married for 27 years and we've never had one in our bedroom and never will.  It's not good for a marriage."  I looked at him again, now I have the "best friend banging" stare.

Someone else had joined our conversation at this point and added that she too had heard that it's better for a marriage and your sex life if you don't have a tv in your bedroom.  I proceeded to inform them that I indeed have a tv in my bedroom and although I've only been married for three and a half years, there is nothing slacking in the bedroom action category.  Also, I am the main advocate for having the tv in our room.  My husband has his huge flat screen in our family room and it is mainly locked on the golf channel, discovery channel, and movies that I have no interest in watching.  Because of this, I like to escape to my bed, curl up, and watch the Real Housewives,Teen Mom, and Sex and the City reruns (only a few of the ridiculous shows I love).  Yes, I love to read but if I was stuck in bed with nothing but a book every night, I would not be happy. 
So I propose this question...to tv or not to tv where you rest your head? 

Happy Friday Friends!  Here's a cute, chubby face to start your weekend with a smile...