Ass Hole Day

I love warm weather.  I worship the sun, shorts, and beautiful days.  So I have to say that I have not been upset in the slightest that Maryland has decided to adopt southern winters with 70 degree January days.  The problem is...I never know what to wear.  Do I dress in the normal winter gear of boots, scarves, and warm coats or do I risk it and go with short sleeves, maybe a jacket?  With my job, I walk around the beautiful nations capital on a day to day basis so I am outside for a good portion of my day. 

Well...two days ago I had to leave super early to go to a dermatologist appointment before work.  Normally, my morning routine involves the backround noise of the daily news with weather reports.  Well,  I was up before the hubby and baby, so I got dressed and ready in the the bathroom and slipped out the front door with a few quick forehead kisses and a coffee.  Since it was raining when I left the house, I threw on my trusty Hunter rainboots, thick-lining socks, and a rain coat.  Well, after I got out of the dermatologist and headed downtown to start my day, the sun was shining.  I felt like an idiot and I was borderline in a full sweat before I got out of my car.  After seeing my first client of the day (who asked if it was raining outside??) I decided I couldn't walk around all day wearing huge, hot rain boots when it was 70 degrees and sunny.  I went into Payless and figured I could buy a cute, cheap pair of shoes to hold me over.  Well...other then the fact that apparently Payless has forgotten about the "less" part in their name, the new shoes didn't work out.  As I went to try on a pair of champagne flats, I ripped my tights.  So, in a fit of rage, I took the tights off (yes, in the middle of Payless) and put my boots back on.

So...picture this girl.  Thick rain boots with wool socks, a cotton dress, bare, pale legs showing between the boots and the rain coat.  Oh...and I forgot to mention that I don't wear underwear when I wear tights so at this point, I'm walking around downtown comando style.  I now run into a nearby Macy's and buy a $2.00 thong so at least if the wind blows, I'm wearing SOMETHING.  At this point, a huge part of me thinks it might just be a good idea to call it a day.  I look like an absolute moron.  Everyone and their mother got the memo that it was going to be a nice day outside except me.  I decide to share my misery with my sisters. 

My text to them reads:

"I'm a hot mess today.  I had to leave early this morning when it was raining so I put on rainboots.  Now it's not raining so I look like an idiot.  My tights got a huge hole so I took them off and now have pale legs.  I had to get something removed from my face at the dermatologist so I have a huge red mark on my cheek.  Should prob just call it a day at this rate!"

One of my sisters responses:

"Hahaha.  Seriously.  Time to quit!  You look like an ass hole."

I don't disagree.  True story girl.