It has been FOREVER since I stopped by to chat, curse, and share some sexcapades. There have been several reasons for my hiatus... work, crazy toddler, vacations, travel, exhaustion...the list can go on and on. But, when it comes down to it, the real reason I have been taking a break is because I have been thinking about whether or not I belong in the "Mommy Blog" world. Yes, I am a Mother. Yes, I have a son. Yes, I have a husband. However, my personality, attitute, and interests are so different from these Mom Blogs I read. Here are some reasons why:
1. I HATE anything DIY or arts and crafty
2. I do not like to cook
3. I do not like to bake
4. I never want to be called a soccer mom
5. I pray that I'm called a MILF
6. I truly believe that a glass of wine a day is a necessity
7. I have serious, hair flipping, LMFAO dance parties with my son
8. I curse...A LOT
9. I like having crazy, wild sex with my husband...and talking to my friends about it
10. I am a true believer that girl trips (and guy trips) are an important part of every relationship
My list of the "not so typical mom" style could go on and on. Then I thought...who cares? Just because I don't make home made wreaths for the front door, would rather buy a cake from Whole Foods than bake one, or enjoy having happy hour with my girlfriends and talking about the "50 Shades of Grey" antics we've been practicing in the bedroom, doesn't mean I'm not a Mom. I'm my own style of Mom and I must say, a pretty good one. So... I'm back biaches.
Wednesday, July 11, 2012
Sunday, February 19, 2012
One Sex Tape Shy of a Reality Show
As the oldest of three girls, my sisters and I are extremely close, different, and often compare ourselves and our roles to the Kardashian sisters. I am the oldest, a mother to an adorable little boy, and (according to my middle sister) am trendy and a little neurotic, aka, Kourtney. Teri, the middle sister, is sooo Khloe. With her long hair, unique style, and "IDONTGIVEAFUCK" attitude, she could be no one else. Katie, the youngest, is a complete Kim. Her rack is huge and looks fake, she has the longest eyelashes ever, is a little emotionally needy. All in all, we are all a perfect fit to be the Irish version of the K trio.
So here I am, watching "Khloe and Lamar" after five days of single parenting (my hubby has been in Canada for work) and I'm thinking, "How are these girls famous and why aren't my sisters and I?" We bicker, call each other out, will defend eachother regardles of the fight (I can talk shit about my sister but you better shut your mouth!) and have an honesty and banter that can't be written for the likes of E!
If Katie had only been the one on the sex tape with Ray Jay, we could all be living in mansions, traveling from LA, to Miami, to NYC for our fashion boutiques, driving stupid expensive cars, and living the life of the Rich and Fabulous. I guess since my sister won't take one for the team and hook up with Ray Jay, I'll continue working and living the average American lifesyle while obsessing about our Kardashian similarities and what ifs...
Ok, now off to bed to tuck Mas in and snap Scott's suspenders.
So here I am, watching "Khloe and Lamar" after five days of single parenting (my hubby has been in Canada for work) and I'm thinking, "How are these girls famous and why aren't my sisters and I?" We bicker, call each other out, will defend eachother regardles of the fight (I can talk shit about my sister but you better shut your mouth!) and have an honesty and banter that can't be written for the likes of E!
If Katie had only been the one on the sex tape with Ray Jay, we could all be living in mansions, traveling from LA, to Miami, to NYC for our fashion boutiques, driving stupid expensive cars, and living the life of the Rich and Fabulous. I guess since my sister won't take one for the team and hook up with Ray Jay, I'll continue working and living the average American lifesyle while obsessing about our Kardashian similarities and what ifs...
Ok, now off to bed to tuck Mas in and snap Scott's suspenders.
Thursday, February 2, 2012
Ass Hole Day
I love warm weather. I worship the sun, shorts, and beautiful days. So I have to say that I have not been upset in the slightest that Maryland has decided to adopt southern winters with 70 degree January days. The problem is...I never know what to wear. Do I dress in the normal winter gear of boots, scarves, and warm coats or do I risk it and go with short sleeves, maybe a jacket? With my job, I walk around the beautiful nations capital on a day to day basis so I am outside for a good portion of my day.
Well...two days ago I had to leave super early to go to a dermatologist appointment before work. Normally, my morning routine involves the backround noise of the daily news with weather reports. Well, I was up before the hubby and baby, so I got dressed and ready in the the bathroom and slipped out the front door with a few quick forehead kisses and a coffee. Since it was raining when I left the house, I threw on my trusty Hunter rainboots, thick-lining socks, and a rain coat. Well, after I got out of the dermatologist and headed downtown to start my day, the sun was shining. I felt like an idiot and I was borderline in a full sweat before I got out of my car. After seeing my first client of the day (who asked if it was raining outside??) I decided I couldn't walk around all day wearing huge, hot rain boots when it was 70 degrees and sunny. I went into Payless and figured I could buy a cute, cheap pair of shoes to hold me over. Well...other then the fact that apparently Payless has forgotten about the "less" part in their name, the new shoes didn't work out. As I went to try on a pair of champagne flats, I ripped my tights. So, in a fit of rage, I took the tights off (yes, in the middle of Payless) and put my boots back on.
So...picture this girl. Thick rain boots with wool socks, a cotton dress, bare, pale legs showing between the boots and the rain coat. Oh...and I forgot to mention that I don't wear underwear when I wear tights so at this point, I'm walking around downtown comando style. I now run into a nearby Macy's and buy a $2.00 thong so at least if the wind blows, I'm wearing SOMETHING. At this point, a huge part of me thinks it might just be a good idea to call it a day. I look like an absolute moron. Everyone and their mother got the memo that it was going to be a nice day outside except me. I decide to share my misery with my sisters.
My text to them reads:
"I'm a hot mess today. I had to leave early this morning when it was raining so I put on rainboots. Now it's not raining so I look like an idiot. My tights got a huge hole so I took them off and now have pale legs. I had to get something removed from my face at the dermatologist so I have a huge red mark on my cheek. Should prob just call it a day at this rate!"
One of my sisters responses:
"Hahaha. Seriously. Time to quit! You look like an ass hole."
I don't disagree. True story girl.
Well...two days ago I had to leave super early to go to a dermatologist appointment before work. Normally, my morning routine involves the backround noise of the daily news with weather reports. Well, I was up before the hubby and baby, so I got dressed and ready in the the bathroom and slipped out the front door with a few quick forehead kisses and a coffee. Since it was raining when I left the house, I threw on my trusty Hunter rainboots, thick-lining socks, and a rain coat. Well, after I got out of the dermatologist and headed downtown to start my day, the sun was shining. I felt like an idiot and I was borderline in a full sweat before I got out of my car. After seeing my first client of the day (who asked if it was raining outside??) I decided I couldn't walk around all day wearing huge, hot rain boots when it was 70 degrees and sunny. I went into Payless and figured I could buy a cute, cheap pair of shoes to hold me over. Well...other then the fact that apparently Payless has forgotten about the "less" part in their name, the new shoes didn't work out. As I went to try on a pair of champagne flats, I ripped my tights. So, in a fit of rage, I took the tights off (yes, in the middle of Payless) and put my boots back on.
So...picture this girl. Thick rain boots with wool socks, a cotton dress, bare, pale legs showing between the boots and the rain coat. Oh...and I forgot to mention that I don't wear underwear when I wear tights so at this point, I'm walking around downtown comando style. I now run into a nearby Macy's and buy a $2.00 thong so at least if the wind blows, I'm wearing SOMETHING. At this point, a huge part of me thinks it might just be a good idea to call it a day. I look like an absolute moron. Everyone and their mother got the memo that it was going to be a nice day outside except me. I decide to share my misery with my sisters.
My text to them reads:
"I'm a hot mess today. I had to leave early this morning when it was raining so I put on rainboots. Now it's not raining so I look like an idiot. My tights got a huge hole so I took them off and now have pale legs. I had to get something removed from my face at the dermatologist so I have a huge red mark on my cheek. Should prob just call it a day at this rate!"
One of my sisters responses:
"Hahaha. Seriously. Time to quit! You look like an ass hole."
I don't disagree. True story girl.
Wednesday, January 18, 2012
Not Losing Myself
Being a mom to an amazing, absolutley insane and adorable little boy has been the highlight of my life thus far. He can make me smile when nothing is going my way. He can drive me so crazy and then just flash those snaggle teeth and make my heart melt. He has turned me into a person I never imagined I could be. A mom. I have transformed from an organized, young, crazy, cool young adult, to a full fledged working mother who sings "The Itsy Bitsy Spider" and points to every car on the high way. I call him names like "my little chunky do" and my "Bubby." Don't ask where I got either of those names...I wouldn't be able to tell you.
Through this almost 16 month journey of having a living creature, that I made and carried, on this earth, I have struggled to not lose myself while becoming a mom. I don't want to judge anyone's parenting tactics or family dynamics but I am trying so hard to continue and keep my friendships strong, my relationship young, and myself sane. The latter is probably the hardest!
My days are non-stop, my nights are chaotic and restless, and my child is sometimes the kid at the park with banana in his hair and blueberry stains on his shirt. I can't do it all and if the worst thing about my day is that I didn't have time to put the dishes in the dishwasher or I didn't feel like fighting my toddler to change his shirt, who fucking cares? It is VERY hard for me to relax and let little things go but I have slowly come to find that in order to maintain myself and keep the Michelle I used to know, I need to let the Mommy in me relax and not try to keep up with the craft making, pinterest pinning, recipe following "super" moms. Maybe I cuss too much, sometimes I might drink too much wine, and when the weather is nice, my child spends way too much time in a running stroller.
Please let me know you struggle as much as I do to be a great Mom but not lose yourself in the process..?!?!
Through this almost 16 month journey of having a living creature, that I made and carried, on this earth, I have struggled to not lose myself while becoming a mom. I don't want to judge anyone's parenting tactics or family dynamics but I am trying so hard to continue and keep my friendships strong, my relationship young, and myself sane. The latter is probably the hardest!
My days are non-stop, my nights are chaotic and restless, and my child is sometimes the kid at the park with banana in his hair and blueberry stains on his shirt. I can't do it all and if the worst thing about my day is that I didn't have time to put the dishes in the dishwasher or I didn't feel like fighting my toddler to change his shirt, who fucking cares? It is VERY hard for me to relax and let little things go but I have slowly come to find that in order to maintain myself and keep the Michelle I used to know, I need to let the Mommy in me relax and not try to keep up with the craft making, pinterest pinning, recipe following "super" moms. Maybe I cuss too much, sometimes I might drink too much wine, and when the weather is nice, my child spends way too much time in a running stroller.
Please let me know you struggle as much as I do to be a great Mom but not lose yourself in the process..?!?!
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